The Wonderful Balance of Sophistication and Whimsy

I had the intention of premiering my blog with an origin story. How Riggbee came to be. It was going to be magnificent and inspiring. Alas, like a birth story, things happen that are unpredictable. A little messy. And you just have to go with the flow sometimes and not try to control the process. So, here we are at my first blog post. You will have to wait a bit to find out how my first night as a parent led me to create this company. Right now, I want to write about goofy pants.

The goofy pants I am thinking about are not the many pants my daughter was gifted as a newborn, always with some animal silhouette sewn into the backside. The goofy pants I am mulling belong to a 74-year-old chef in Virginia whom I have never met. Writer Bill Kearney (with images by Scott Suchman) profiled Chef Patrick O’Connell in the January 2020 issue of American Way, American Airline’s inflight magazine. “He’s elegant in his chef whites, but wears Dalmatian-print pants that are, dare I say, goofy,” writes Kearney of O’Connell. “His voice is deep and honeyed, and he speaks with the measured cadence of someone who’s put considerable thought into things.” This considerable thought is something I think many of us can relate to as a new and intentional parents. And as Kearney goes on to describe the wonderful restaurant and community O’Connell has built, I’m even more inspired from the lessons it has for building a family life. “The vibe might be familial, the set playful, but you sure as hell better execute.” And: “Spike Mendelsohn calls it frisson. ‘There’s something in the air, just this beautiful thing—this brigand, this team, are on the same plan,’ says Mendelsohn of the staff’s verve. ‘It’s just this great, great energy.’ The only thing missing is a raised curtain.” Building this kind of a “frisson” in family lifestyle sounds glorious, painstaking, and worthwhile.

The eclectic way this three-Michelin-star winning chef and entrepreneur has developed his Inn at Little Washington, in Virginia, called to my memory many other examples of apparent dichotomies that actually pair quite well. Wearing casual clothes in a fancy office. Displaying modern art in an old warehouse. Hearing Betty White swear. When it is unexpected, and done in a light handed and effortless way, this makes things interesting.

Beyond interesting. I think these mashups and bucking the norm is essential to a life well lived. It’s a way to release the pressure of having always to stick to a refined narrative or aim for perfection. But it’s also challenging ourselves not to wallow too long in what is easy. Our style, the way we spend our time… it all does better with variety. Dr. Robin Nabi, a professor of communication at UC Santa Barbara says, “playing a video game or watching a movie or television can restore some psychological resources,” by turning off the brain’s problem-solving mode momentarily (New York Times, July 2019 - “‘Guilty’ Pleasures? No Such Thing”). I know I always watch a palate-cleansing, guilty-pleasure show after something really heavy (who else watched Rick & Morty after watching The Joker?). And I capped a few hours of researching zen music with a night out to watch AEW wrestling. I reveled in both experiences, and the fact that they were so different added to my satisfaction.

Just like foie gras is good, and In-N-Out burgers are also good, and we can carve out a penchant for a little of both, I think this is true for many things in the parenting world. So much of what we focus on as new parents is on being a more effective parent. Doing the best for our little ones. Yet, some of the greatest moments are those mischievous moments. Sleeping in despite all the things to be done. Sneak-eating the baby’s snacks. Letting the little tyke binge-watch her tablet. We can give ourselves a break. When we constantly nurture our family and strategically orchestrate so much of our collective lives, we can get away with a little razzmatazz. Much like Chef O’Connell can have super high expectations and still inject joy and frivolity to his setting. And when kids are older, they can become our partners in crime. Who says we can’t show up to fall festivals BOTH dressed in garden costumes? Who says we can’t stay up late and eat too much ice cream together? What a wonderful example to show our kids.

A bit of this and a pinch of that. The ability to reach the pinnacle of high standards, and then also be able to, in a way, say “screw you” to that level of standard. I love my Calamityware fine china mugs for this reason. They are fine bone china, with royal blue decoration, but if you look closely, there are aliens and robots and dinosaurs and monsters in the design. It’s being a bit cheeky, in a refined way. Isn’t that what we want for our kids, too? To mature, but not lose their sense of joy and mischief?

I don’t want to wear ducks sewn into my pants, and Riggbee products will likely follow a more austere aesthetic… but I can appreciate the notion that those who rock out with duck prints are trying to have a bit of fun. High brow. Low brow. It’s the exposure that counts. The experience. And the balance of sophistication and whimsy. For our kids, and for us. Let’s keep living.

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If you are a typical parent that may find it hard to find more than five minutes to have said-life, check out my list of more than forty things new parents can do to reconnect with their vitality, in just five minute bursts. And stay tuned for more in this blog. Not all of it will be educational. Some will just be musings, like this. But I hope it will delight you anyway.

My mugshot. Fine porcelain china from Poland with “Things Could Be Worse” design from Calamityware.

My husband and I stayed at the amazing La Perla resort in the Dolomites of northern Italy for part of our honeymoon. Despite the finest surroundings, Michelin-star cuisine, and glamorous clientele, the proprietors maintained delightfully quirky aspects, like a wine cellar with cheesy funhouse-like special effects complete with wacky mirrors, strobe lights, and fog machines. Amazing.  

AEW Wrestling… the same day as I was researching zen music. Love the variety. Stay curious.

My family at the Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden. No other adults were dressed up in costume for this garden party. Oh well. Maybe we started a trend for the next year.